


Etched

by Mishafer



Series: Saturating the Reibert tag with Actual Reibert Fics [7]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Masturbation, Titan Shifter Marks, Top Bertolt Hoover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 09:08:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12678798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mishafer/pseuds/Mishafer
Summary: When Bertholdt's titan marks linger long after the battle ends, he wishes he could bind Reiner to his skin instead. And he makes sure he knows it.





	Etched

**Author's Note:**

> The exact timeframe, setting, and how and why they won is undetermined. I’m not adept at altering canon plots and this isn't meant to be plotty so how they’re at this point is up in the air.

Bertholdt’s eyes sting from the biting wind as he sits by the edge of the wall. Hours have passed and the sun set since his colossal form vaporized into a haze of steam. Yet its markings on his skin refuse to budge. Muscled ridges rising and falling across his face crisscrossed with stretchy sinew.

His hand traces the markings, still warm despite the chilling wind. Fading them had always been easy, but now his will seems too weak to erase the colossal titan from his features. Violent memories replay in his mind. His determination to stop the suffering he, Reiner, and Annie caused. Ending numerous lives in one swift explosion was the most mercy he’d ever been allowed to grant. But in doing so he became more the colossal titan than Bertholdt Hoover. So if the etching never fades it will be fitting, he decides.

He drops his hand from his face and heads back to the tent. Inside, he’s welcomed with warmth along with light from their oil lantern. Reiner lies sleeping on his side surrounded by an array of scavenged supplies. Bertholdt settles beside him and watches his chest rise and fall evenly. His fingers brush his neck’s pulse point and finds a steady rhythm. Next he combs through his hair, it’s regrown and the exact shade of golden blond as before he lost his head. The dent in his nose the exact height and angle as always. But most importantly, he's alive.

He slips from his pants, lies down behind him, and hooks an arm around his waist. If all goes well, soon they will be able to sleep like this every night.

Reiner shifts and rolls onto his back. His eyes flutter open. “About time you—” He blinks.

“They’re still there. I know.”

_My mask._

“Not as dark or high as before. They’re fading.”

He brushes his chin—still textured. “You think so?”

“I know so.” He sits up.

He places a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, don’t stress yourself too much. You should get some more sleep.”

“I’m fine. No steaming means I’m healed.”

“But you’ve never had to heal an injury that severe before. Your body needs to rest after that.”

“I'm not doing cartwheels, I’m just sitting up.”

He scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He takes the tin cup of water from the back edge of the tent. “At least have something to drink.”

Reiner accepts it and takes a sip. “Thanks.”

Bertholdt waits for him to drink more, but he sets it aside. He wants to urge him to drain the cup, but decides to let it go for now to avoid irritating him. Bertholdt pulls his knees to his chest and they sit in silence. The outside wind occasionally flutters the beige fabric of the tent.

“Does this seem off to you?” Reiner asks after a while.

“Does what seem off?”

“Just sitting here, it’s so underwhelming. You’d think we’d be celebrating.” He exhales a deep breath. “Or crying.”

“There’s no point in that.”

“I know. Guess that’s why I’m not doing it. Is that why you’re not doing it?”

“Yeah.” He touches his face again and frowns at the remaining marks.

He scoots forward. “Hey, those will go away. You probably just need rest too. Sleep ‘em off.”

“Sleep. That sounds…”  _Impossible_. But when Reiner wraps an arm around him, he continues, “Good. Sleep sounds good.” He doesn’t think he’ll actually sleep, but lying there with Reiner for hours sounds better anyway.

They lie down and Bertholdt rests his head on Reiner’s arm. He stares with such affection it takes Bertholdt aback. How can he have love in his gaze despite his current appearance? Bertholdt would shatter any surface that showed his current reflection.

“Hey,” Reiner begins, “I didn’t get a chance to say it earlier, everything was so chaotic, but thank you. For coming after me. You were great.”

Bertholdt smiles and closes his eyes. “You’re welcome.”

“It was stupid though.”

His eyes snap open. “What?”

“You could’ve compromised the mission. I would’ve been fine. I know you couldn’t tell from up that high, but—”

“Shut up.” His chin quivers.

“Look, I would’ve done the same for you, it’s just—”

He bolts up. “So? Why did you have to say it? Why do you always do that? Pull me in just to push me away?”

“Bertholdt—”

“For those few seconds nothing else mattered, not the survey corp, not Eren, not Marley.  _Nothing_  except you. So stop it. I was ready to give everything up. All of it. You have no idea, Reiner. No idea. Stop playing these games with me.”

“What are you  _doing_?”

“What?” He realizes he’s straddling Reiner who now lies on his back. Both hands are planted on either side of his shoulders.

He intends to get off and apologize, he really does, but he’s so damn tired of this. Tired of shying away each time a rift forms between them. Tired of wishing Reiner would accept that he loves him more than life itself. So he acts as a titan and lays his claim. He kisses him. Hard.

Reiner kisses back with just as much fervor. “I’m sorry,” he says as their lips smack. “I didn’t mean to—”

“I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you. Because I love you.” He sucks on his pouty bottom lip. “And I want you.” He licks the tip of his tongue. “So bad.”

“Right now?”

“Yes.” He gulps. “Definitely right now. You’re not going to push me away. Not after this.”

His thumb swipes across a line of sinew on his cheek. “Okay. Then take me. Any way you want to.”

Any way he can get Reiner is how he wants him. Slow, quick, quiet, loud, bottom, top, and anything in between. But right now he wants to be inside him.

“Take off your clothes,” Bertholdt says, both surprised and pleased with the amount of resolve in his voice. He’s done far more daunting things after all.

He sits back as Reiner obliges. Unbuttoning his shirt while Bertholdt’s fingers follow the exposed strip of flesh. Reiner soon has his pants and underwear off and Bertholdt swears his body glows. More beautiful than he can ever form words for. He’ll have to show him instead.

“You’re already getting hard. You really want me that bad?”

“Of course.”

He inches forward. “But you pretended you didn’t, and somehow you still manage to act as if you don't. Will you finally admit it now? Please?”

He nods. “Yes.”

He brushes Reiner’s nipple and the blond shudders. “Tell me something: how many times did you touch yourself thinking about me? You told me you had.”

He half smiles—his subtle smiles are Bertholdt’s favorite. “Too many damn times to count.”

“Then will you show me? On yourself? I want to get an idea.”

Reiner’s cock visibly hardens at the words. He again follows Bertholdt’s instruction and circles it with his hand. Stroking it from bottom to top while his eyes go half-lidded.

Bertholdt’s mouth waters and he pictures him doing this alone at night. Beneath the covers of the cadet barracks, one hand over his mouth to muffle his moans and the other on his cock while the one he thinks of is mere feet away. Too scared that the friend who’s been by his side ever since they were children didn’t love him back. Didn’t also pleasure himself at night wishing it was his hand instead.

Bertholdt kneels over him and brushes their lips together. “I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage back then to let you know.”

Reiner pants as he continues touching himself. “It’s okay.”

“You know, I thought about you too. You went from a boy to a man in such a short time. Getting a body like this.” He runs a hungry leer across Reiner’s naked form. “I didn’t know what was happening to me when I caught myself ogling you. I’d touch myself trying to think about girls and boys in the mountain village, or even Annie, but it was never enough. I could never get there until I thought of you. Like when I snuck a peek when you were finishing up a bath. All it took was for me to picture that and I came.”

He gasps and takes his hand away. “I have to—I have to stop or I can’t hold on.”

“It’s okay. Go on.”

“You know I want you to go first.”

“No, I want you to come first this time. But...” He muses for a second. “I’d rather it be when I’m inside you.” He takes off his own underwear and discards his shirt, leaving him totally undressed.

He has to stop Reiner from pulling away. Even when they began having sex during the past months, he found ways to keep distance. Bertholdt teared up the first time Reiner brought him to orgasm, but Reiner reacted by dressing quickly. Saying they should go keep Zeke company and survey the walls. Akin to sticking his hand in an open flame and taking it away before he could be engulfed.

So Bertholdt crawls over him, determined to engulf him this time. Kissing him as Reiner’s large warm hands roam across his body and fingernails leave indents on his shoulder blades. Bertholdt presses his lips across his neck and his chest. His own growing erection bumping against Reiner’s. Reiner whimpers as he moves lower, painfully slow just to hear the delicious sounds he makes.

“I told you what I fantasized about,” Bertholdt says. “So tell me, what did you imagine?”

“Lots of things. Too many to name.”

He inches up and sucks a mark on his bicep. “Tell me one.”

“I uh,” he begins through a shaky breath, “during training, I used to imagine you saying you had a surprise for me. Then taking me out by the lake at night and kissing me. Then laying me down on a blanket and taking off our clothes. At first I imagined just rubbing each other. Then I got into fingering myself and...” He lets out a laugh.

Bertholdt’s heart flutters and he rests his forehead on his lover’s arm. “I imagined doing it by the lake too.” He starts to say he wishes they had, but they already have too many good memories of their cadet years for comfort. “Then how’d you do it? With oil, without? How many fingers?” He reaches into their bag and takes the vial of cooking oil. It’s seldom used for actual cooking.

“Usually lotion because I was desperate.”

Bertholdt slicks his fingers. “How’d you start?”

“I’d start with one, just plunge in.”

He spreads Reiner’s legs and kneels between them. Lathering the ring of muscle with oil before pushing in his index finger. “Like this?”

He hisses. “Yes.”

“And go back and forth?

“Uh-huh.”

Bertholdt moves his finger in a soft thrusting motion and Reiner’s face contorts in pleasure. “You like it, huh? More than I do, I think. I usually imagined fucking you. I didn’t even know what it felt like to be inside someone, but I knew it had to be amazing.” He withdraws his finger and deposits oil over his whole hand, then takes his cock in a slippery grip. “I’d do this.” He holds his hand rigid and thrusts in. “And pretend it was you.”

His features sharpen with desire. “God, Bertl…”

Memories flood his senses of doing this before. The ache of desire in his gut and longing in his heart for the friend who seemed to not need him anymore.

He keeps fucking his own hand, twitching and quickly reaching full hardness. “D—do you like watching too?”

His throat bobs. “Yeah.” Bertholdt takes his hand away and fingers Reiner again. He jerks into his touch. “Come on, Bertl…”

“You told me I needed to stop being so passive.” He leans down to lick across his chest. “Don’t get snippy with me for what you told me to do.”

Reiner tugs on his dark hair and a thrill shoots through him. God does he love when he pulls his hair. That extra spark that reminds him of the playfulness Reiner’s real personality hides.

“You’re infuriating,” Reiner teases.

“ _You’re_  infuriating.” He sits back up and moves his finger harder. He’s the one feeling impatient now—pushing in another digit and sliding back as far as they can reach.

Reiner drags his wrist across his forehead and groans.

Bertholdt strokes himself with his free hand to make sure he’s hard enough before replacing his fingers with his erection. Reiner fists the covers. Heat sears through his groin and up to his chest as he enters. Next he lifts his legs and hooks them around his arms so he can have a better angle.

Reiner grits his teeth as Bertholdt pulls back for the first time. “Is that too much?”

“God, no.”

“Good.” He thrusts again and builds to a steady rhythm. A gasp escapes him with each push.

Reiner starts jerking himself off, his dick wet with precome. His insides are so hot and squeeze his length so perfectly that Bertholdt cries out his lover’s name again and again. He wants to stay like this. Reiner being no one other than himself and completely at the mercy of the pleasure he’s giving.

Bertholdt's knees wobble and realizes he’s still too far away. So he plants his hands on either side of his shoulders, remaining oil from his fingers staining the fabric beneath. Reiner wraps his legs around Bertholdt’s midsection and his free arm around his neck. Feeling less like a grip to keep steady and more one to keep their bodies together indefinitely. His masturbating hand tickles Bertholdt’s stomach as they share an eager kiss.

Reiner groans again as Bertholdt speeds up his movement. He shuts his eyes and relishes the feeling between his legs as he goes rougher. When he reopens them, he finds Reiner fixed on him in a daze of lust and adoration. As if he isn’t covered with a monster’s mask. But Reiner probably stares starry-eyed at the colossal titan. Like he hung the moon instead of hurled it down on the homes of innocents.

“Bertholdt,” Reiner pants, arm tightening around his neck. His insides spasm around his dick.

"You're almost there, let me take you home."

Reiner arches his back and comes. Spilling warmth over his moving hand and across his taut stomach. Bertholdt whines at the sight and his body flushes anew. Radiating throughout his belly and through his arms, pooling in his cheeks as his skin perspires and heart pounds in his ears.

“C—can I finish inside?” Bertholdt manages to choke out.

Reiner gives a nod as he continues to heave through breaths. Moments later, Bertholdt lets out a sharp cry and fumbles to his elbows. Holding onto Reiner for dear life as ecstasy courses through his veins. His legs twitch from the aftershock and he peppers his temple with lazy kisses. Reiner’s ejaculate joins between them and makes a mess, but he can’t bring himself to care and beams in their shared afterglow.

He can’t see how Reiner can push him away now.

"Do you understand now?" Bertholdt asks, laying a series of gentle kisses on his lips.

Reiner gathers a lock of Bertholdt’s hair between his fingers. "Yeah. I do."

Bertholdt pulls out and sits. “Good. Then let me clean up.” He takes a dirtied shit and sprinkles it with the water from the cup. “You should still be relaxing.” He wipes Reiner’s stomach clean.

Reiner sits up on his hands. “Always cleaning up my messes.”

“Hush.” He dries himself before putting the shirt beneath Reiner’s backside.

Pulling on his underwear, Reiner stops him with a hand to his cheek, and says, “Hey, the marks are gone. Just noticed.”

His hand flies to his other cheek. Smooth. He breaks out into a smile and almost laughs at himself for his silly worry.

“It’s good to see you smile.”

He rests his forehead on Reiner’s. “Yeah.”

Reiner cleans himself fully and they both redress. Bertholdt spoons Reiner from behind and they try to cover themselves in a wool blanket that’s nowhere near big enough for the two of them.

“Hey,” Bertholdt starts, mouth by Reiner’s ear, “you remember when you made me smile the first time?”

“I showed you that pile of dead leaves we could jump in.”

“And the subsequent ‘Reiner is dragging you down by having the audacity to play around while we’re training.’” He chews his tongue. “Reiner?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t… you don’t need to ever reinvent yourself again. You really don’t. You don’t have to be Marcel anymore. The Reiner who showed me the leaves that day, I like him a lot. I want him to stay.”

Reiner says nothing, but after a few moments a low noise rumbles from his throat and his body quakes.

 _Is he... crying?_ He never cries.

“Reiner?” Bertholdt questions. Reiner turns around and nuzzles his shoulder. A few sobs escape his lips.

He recalls the months following the wall breach. He often overheard Reiner sniffling in the wee hours of the morning. When finally confronted, Bertholdt said it was okay to cry sometimes. Though Reiner shunned the notion and said he was trying to stop.

 _”There’s no point,”_  he had said.

Bertholdt cradles him and whispers reassurance into his ear.

“I just said this was pointless,” Reiner laments against Bertholdt’s shoulder.

Bertholdt kisses the top of his head. “We’ve done much more pointless things than cry.”

He wishes he could pull him even closer. That he could erase every trace of the colossal titan from his body and etch Reiner into his skin instead. Carve him through his muscle and bone until he's as much a part of him as the red of his blood.


End file.
